Added: Damin Mullaney - Date: 17.01.2022 03:57 - Views: 19765 - Clicks: 7969
As you guys know, I like to tell things how I see them, in the hopes that even one couple will recognize themselves in the dynamics that I describe and be able to move toward a better and healthier relationship. I like to share common dynamics that I observe in couples counseling like Mr. Perfect and his Crazy Wifeamong others because understanding the basis of these interactions can help couples realize that they are caught in toxic patterns, and can give them a push to disentangle themselves. Husband: WTF is wrong with you?
This is over hanging pictures? This is obviously not the type of relationship that anyone s up for. The tragedy in some of these marriages is that the guy actually wants to make his wife happy, but he cannot believe that it would be as simple as doing the things she asks him to do.
This may be because his wife is never happy with anythingbut most women, and most people, are actually not like that. The issue is that many of these guys believe that they know what their wife wants and needs better than she does. This guy takes this to a new low, for an example of this dynamic. So when the wife asks for the pictures to be hung, he may think one of the following things:. There is the possibility that 3 may occur, but if you rehang the pictures, taking another half hour, it is only a truly anxious person who will still not be appeased if your wife has you rehang the same pictures three times in a row, you may want to seek counseling, for real.
Also, 4 may be true, but I bet you that the bad mood will dissipate upon the hanging of the pictures. Remember: it may not be about the stuff that your wife wants you to do, but the stuff she wants you to do is a proxy variable I discuss these here for you announcing that you value and prioritize her. Try the one week challenge of doing all the stuff your wife wants you to do, when she wants you to do it.
I believe that her list will not be as long as you think it will, and even if it is, her happiness and relief and affection levels will increase dramatically by the end of the seven days. I am here to tell you that it occurs, but it takes about a week for your wife to really relax and welcome the new you, the you who immediately hangs the pictures unless you are busy saving a cat stuck in a tree or something equally heroic and urgent.
This new you is often greeted with sex, incidentally.
Resentment and unmet needs lead to a pressure cooker. You might be in one of the following situations:. Best of luck, and take this challenge for the sake of your marriage! This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional.
If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person.
We have a similar dynamic in our relationship with a slight twist. I ask him daily and he keeps saying he will get to it, he never does. So I do it myself. Then he sees me doing it myself and asks, why did you not ask me?
I respond that I did ask 15 times and he says well you need to remind me more.
So the next go around I remind him more and he says t hat I am nagging. So there really is no solution here. On the flip side, when he needs my help with something he expects me to literally drop everything I am doing and come do it that second. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
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Just Do The Stuff Your Wife Wants