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After about 9 months I realized I had really deep feelings for her, at 12 months I confessed them to her. That was 7 years ago and now we are married with a two-year-old. We met on Tinder where I specifically told her I was only looking for a fwb. We saw each other once or twice a month for a year, very casually, before things started really heating up.
We were perfect together in and out of bed. It became clear that we should just be together. She was beautiful and successful and had a lot of friends, I was living with my parents and trying to get my life together. One day she told me she was seeing someone else and caught the hurt look in my eye. I was attracted with her enough to sleep with her, initially, and the more we started hanging out laughing in bed and talking, the more I liked her as a person.
I kept sleeping with her which was a big mistake and I fell into a pretty bad depression. There was something about those nights with her in my arms that made me open up to the possibility of being together. She had kind of entered into the agreement with that notion, so we started officially dating after just a month of trying to be casual. We were good friends before we decided to start sleeping together with no promises or strings attached, but of course that only deepened our bond and brought us close together. We were inseparable soon after, that was 9 years ago.
It was a dream I had that I was about to act on, but my feelings for her made me stay. She makes me feel completely loved and cared for in and out of the bedroom. We cuddled like we were lovers.
She was always touching me, even if we were just watching TV getting ready to wind down and go to bed together. The feeling of closeness we developed was intoxicating. After a few months I told her I had to be with her officially or walk away. Thankfully she agreed. I slept with her and pursued more for two years, but she never came around. I finally got the resolve to walk away, but it was almost a year before I stopped hurting over her. You generally talk minimally in order to ensure your feelings stay as far away from your sex filled relationship as possible.
But the line and boundaries drawn in a FWB relationship are never crystal clear. It could be feelings, jealously, complications, or whatever your personal experience with your FWB turned out like. If something happened at work that you brought up last time you were together, he will do a follow up question. He will try to slyly bring it in to the conversation like it just popped into his head, but he remembered what you said all along.
He wants to try to fit into your personal life and built a relationship outside of sex. Remember how last time you were together and you said you really wanted a doughnut? Well he did.
He tries to keep it casual like going to a drive thru with him and he pay. Or him asking you to help him with some shopping because, you know, guys hate shopping. But it progresses and your relationship starts taking place outside the bedroom more and more frequently. He brings you to his cousins wedding or to a family BBQ or to meet the family for a special occasion.
He tries to make you laugh or will call you just to talk. He takes thing further than just being FWB. He shows you effort and tries to be in your life and build a deeper relationship than just FWB. But things change, feelings are unpredictable and he might be one of the few who actually see something more than just sex with you. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about.
These words are for us all. Beyond Worthyby Jacqueline Whitney. You may unsubscribe at any time.
By Erin Cossetta Updated April 22, The meaning of the acronym FWB is friends with benefits. A friend with benefits, in other words, is a casual relationship of fun and sex with no strings attached to it. About the author Occasional writer. More From Thought Catalog. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in!
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